Today, my sister, her boyfriend and the two kids went to a fare that was in my city. I didn’t know what time they would be back, or how long they would be gone, so I didn’t want to stay here by myself, I realize this was not good to avoid staying here by myself, because I am meant to be getting better at that.
I felt at the time I was doing the right thing, by not staying here, encase something happened to me while they were out, like a seizure or something bad like that. But as the day went on, I started feeling really bad, like I should’ve stayed here instead of going, I felt really stupid for avoiding it, because I knew it wasn’t right to do, but instead of controlling the anxiety, I let it control me… I don’t know, sometimes I just really don’t feel good about myself, and I don’t believe I can get better. It seems so difficult at times, and I just don’t know. I need better stratigies to work with, something so that I can turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.
Aside from that, I stayed here tonight while my dad went to meet my uncle, which I suppose is a positive thing. Hope everyone is having a good day/night. I’ll blog again soon. 🙂