Today my mum, sister and niece and nephew went by train to the local shopping center. On the train there, it was ok, I didn’t mind that so much. Then we had to catch a bus, which I didn’t like. The bus had seats that made it feel like it was going backwards. I really didn’t like that feeling, even though I knew it actually wasn’t driving backwards.
At the local shopping center, I bought a birthday present for my friend, as it is her birthday party on saturday. I hope she likes the present I got her. As well as the present, i got an outfit to wear to the party, I really like the outfit. They are really nice going out clothes.
When I had finished shopping at that store, I went to wendies and got an icecream and a hotdog. The hotdog was so disgusting, but I happily ate the icecream.
On the way back from our trip, we only used the train, then walked back to the house.
The train had a lot of people on it, I didn’t want to get on it. But somehow, I managed to control my anxiety enough to end up getting on. I guess I convinced myself that because it was only two stops, that it wouldn’t take long, then we could start walking back to the house.
One last worry I have is in regards to my friends party on Saturday. I am of course going to it, but I have a lot of anxiety about it. Even though there will be a lot of people I already know going.
I worry what if its loud, what if its hot in there, what if when its hot it causes something to happen to me…etc, etc, etc.
All these things I think of when the event is coming up. Then when it happens, it usually works out well in the end.
I just really have problems controlling my thoughts, and turning the negative thoughts into positive ones.I hate anxiety so much. But I feel I am getting better, in some ways at least. I guess everything takes time, and so long as i’m making progress, i’m happy with that.